I am ambitious, or this is what I thought.

I always wanted to be a business woman, somebody who would make a positive impact in the world. I wanted to work for the best companies and be powerful. To make this happen, I instantly thought, United States.

I think we all know what this country has to offer, and I still think it is a place full of opportunities, but it is not for me anymore.

I was 22 years old when I moved to the US as an aupair. By that time, I thought that it would be a great idea to experience the american life and I am really blessed for what I experienced. Meanwhile, I was still trying to expand my networking and tried to find a job, related to my field: marketing.

My idea was to find a job in marketing so I could learn from the best. But I never succeeded. I am not going to lie, it is very hard to be sponsored if you are an immigrant without outstanding qualifications. I could only offer the only thing I knew best: ambition.

I am 25 years old now, and I am still here, but all this idea of me being something big started to fade not long ago.

I have been doing so many things and still didn’t move forward enough, and I am not going to complain why I didn’t achieve anything yet, because I know I am not being patient. But my mind is blocked, exhausted from over-thinking and trying to achieve something that I am not enjoying anymore. <<He had worked for an entire year to make a dream come true, and that dream, minute by minute, was becoming less important. Maybe because that wasn’t really his dream. Who knows… maybe it’s better to just go through life wanting to do so.>>

And there is when I realised, that wasn’t my dream. There are countless times I envied my friends for staying home and living a life without caring about these things. I envied them for not having to be so far away from family and friends, I envied every single thing about home.

I spent all my life complaining from my home country, and how much I hated the routine. But now, more than ever, I wish I had a different mindset, to appreciate what I had and the infinite opportunities I could find there. I was blind.

Some will say I am homesick, and this is probably the biggest thing. But there is more about it. There is a person that has a different perspective of life, a person who realised that all the things that she has been working on for the past 10 years is not what she really wanted. A person who doesn’t fit in America’s values and lifestyle. Somebody who was looking for her purpose, when she knew her purpose was already in her. I always enjoyed life the fullest, doing the things I loved, and that is when I felt the most alive.

But, this is not me giving up on being an entrepreneur and creating things, I will still do, but I am not going to be harsh on me, I am not going to work overtime and become obsessed with it. Every mantra entrepreneur coaches teach you nowadays didn’t work for me.

I am slowing down in life, I am going back where I was happy and everything was simple. I don’t wish anybody to sacrifice their life for a professional title. I don’t wish anyone to be apart from their people. Even though I admire everyone who achieved their dream in these circumstances.

Now, I work as a freelance graphic designer, something new that I know I am good at. And I really like it. I will continue fighting for what it really makes me happy, not for the idea of it.

Life should be simple, not a race. I felt rushed. But I guess this is the world we live in nowadays, sad but at the same time, I won’t be part of it.

Just here to read your beautiful stories.